Still Speechless. . .

Sitting in her shadow
Cursing under my breath
Laying down, upon the ground sobbing. . .
I’m under the impression you were busy
Which is why you’ve stopped talking
You’re my rainy day
You’re my pain
My tears
My guilty shame
You’re my overcast day
I’ve lost my map
I’ve lost my way
I’m still speechless
I’m still searching. . .
You were the everything inside
My darkened silver moonlit night
One last breath,
One last December ninth
And the only answer I ever needed
Was, “You don’t have to say anything”
I’m still speechless. . .
I’m still crying. . .
Ever since the following day.

Afraid

Teardrops, misery, and lies.
Beads of cold sweat. . .
Running down my neck.
Maybe I'm scared that you'll do it again.
It's not your presence alone. . .
But your essence as well.
This feeling I get
Like falling forward
Every time I see your eyes. . .
Teardrops, misery, and lies
Not because it wasn't beautiful.
Not because it didn't mean the world to me.
Not because you didn't break my heart. . .
It's because I'm afraid! ! ! !
That you'll do it again. . .

Vacancy

As the anger fades
As the fury dies
The heart slows
The pen flies
Acrossed this page
Constructing plots
Making plans.
Along the darkened
Thin red lines
Is where the misunderstanding
The giving up
The giving in makes its mark.
Taking unproductive strolls
Through tunnels of frustration
Say my name. Call for me down dim lit streets
And empty halls
Watch my head not turn
Watch me stop and buckle at my knees
Sobbing and crying as I hit the floor
Watch the pain, the fallen, suffocating heart.
Stop and stare
Turn your back
You cannot bear
To even breathe the same damn air. . . .
As the pale, black haired boy
With the very heart that you destroyed.

By the Swingset

Let this be. . .
The love letter that breaks your heart.
Inside of me. . .
That night meant treachery.
We filled our minds with angelic voices
Protesting and wailing
Their siren's song
She's transfixed.
My ears,
My mind,
My eyes are closed.
Afterward we walk. . .
Breathing in december's night
Headed toward the coffee shop
After still, and still we drive
Into the depths of black crystal sky
Splintered into crystaline grains of purest white light.
In her car. . .
Down by the park. . .
Sitting here. . .
Hand in hand.
arm in arm. . .
Kissing. . .
Kissing. . .
By the swingset.
The love lost forever, the forever in a night.
Hidden in her whisper.
Lost in her lies
She breaks my heart.
In her arms
Between her lips, as we're. . .
Kissing. . .
Kissing. . .
By the swingset.

Harmful if Swallowed

Love is an entity.
Ripping through our hearts.
As it passes through
a restless blade
soaked in morphine so we wont feel pain
as it breaks down our defenses,
as it comes through slower and slower still with graceful ease;
With movement as smooth as a razor’s edge.
Sliding through at an even pace,
catching on every last barbed black thorn.
Ripping through the tissue,
poisoning the flesh like lies poison the soul.
Severing the muscle to make us weak,
serrating the spine as it leaves through the back.
This wretched blade of love. . .
is a simple phrase.
"I love you."
spoken through the lips,
consumed when they embrace,
bent back as they retrace their steps.
It's just another wasted breath.
Time will tell. . .
The blade, and the pendulum.
Back and forth and back again.
Conversing it's dark romance in the language of broken dreams;
Channeling vines of barbed wire through me.
Ripping through. . .
Tearing acrossed. . .
Whipping
Lashing
Breaking
Smashing
Blinking
Flashing
The fakest vicious grin. . .
The world has ever seen!